Here's a little bit of background info...
There are shrubs on either side of our back patio where Skeletor relieves himself every single time nature calls. His corrosive lemonade has long since killed the grass surrounding the shrubs. The grass has been replaced with the aforementioned pee-pee mud. This pee-pee mud is splattered all over the back door and then tracked into the house. It leaves our entire back porch smelling far from fresh.
Ian and I needed a plan. Something less muddy would be good. Mulch seems like it would just get stinky again really fast... so we decided on rocks.
I did some calculations and determined that I know nothing about landscaping.
My amateur estimate said that we needed 4 cubic feet of rocks to fill a 4x4 area 3 inches deep surrounding the 2 shrubs.
I bought 10 feet of plastic border, some stakes and weed blocker material. Ian was to pick up 8 half cubic ft. bags of rocks on his way home.
It was time for the fun to begin. I armed myself with a hedge trimmer, 2 shovels, and a pair of gloves. I stepped out into the afternoon heat and was immediately greeted by the putrid, rotten aroma of the pee-pee mud.
Since we do not own a wheelbarrow, a plastic bin would have to suffice. I started shoveling the stinky earth and decomposing grass into the plastic bin. I then dragged the bin across the yard to deposit the funky load in an area that a) needed more soil and b) was far from the back door!
It was surprising how much tainted turf had to be removed from the areas surrounding the shrubs. I was sweating profusely and I was slightly nauseated, but the job was coming along and there was plenty of scorching daylight remaining.
I fired up the hedge trimmer and went to town on the shrubs. Apparently this was a job that we had been neglecting for the past 2 years. Oops! :)
Ian finally arrived with a truck bed full of bags of rocks. The area on the right of the porch was square shaped, while the area to the left was nice and rounded. We contemplated how to get them to match.
We decided to cut some sod out and make a patch that would hopefully take root and result in a couple of matching rock beds. We went to work creating the trench into which the plastic border would be sunk. The foul aroma of pee-pee mud was down to nominal levels by now, as the bulk of the grimy gook had been ferried to the far reaches of the yard.
Ian cut out the correct shapes and we laid down the weed barrier, followed by the plastic border. I sunk a few stakes into the dirt to hold the sheet in place. We began hauling heavy bags of rocks to the back yard, two at a time.
Starting with the more popular of Skelly's restrooms, we dumped the rocks into their new bed. Alas, it took 5 bags to fill the larger of the two beds. Naturally, this left us a little short on filling up bathroom number two... we got it fairly close though.
2 or 3 sweaty hours, 8 bags of rocks, 10 feet of plastic and a handfull of metal stakes later, Skelly's fancy new restrooms were unveiled!
Believe me, the king of urination wasted no time in Christening his new sprinkling grounds! :)